Sunday Stealing, July 22… too tired to think…

Hello Sunday… It’s time for Sunday Stealing… while I procrastinate about getting up and going to the gym.

1. You have 10 dollars and need to buy snacks at a gas station. What do you get?
A Mars Bar, a Bounty, a packet of Twisties and a Chocolate Big M. Or at least that’s what I used to get. Now it might be a couple of oat or nut bars and a bottle of water.

2. If you were reincarnated as a sea creature, what would you want to be?
Something unedible, and vaguely rude. Like a sea cucumber.

3. Who’s your favorite redhead?
Noooo… I can’t decide. Deborah Ann Woll or Christina Hendricks? I loooove both.

4. What do you order when you’re at IHOP?
What the fuck is IHOP?

5. Last book you read?
Mistress of Rome, Kate Quinn – AWESOME.

6. Describe your mood.

7. Describe the last time you were injured.
The last time my L5 decided to remind me it was completely knackered – which was at the gym.

8. Of all your friends, who would you want to be stuck in a well with?
Tam, Tam, Tam! We’d sing silly songs to pass the time and bitch about our partners until we were rescued.

9. Rock concert or symphony?
Rock symphony!

10. What is the wallpaper of your cell phone? The number? (We’ll just say “hi” – promise.)
Hahaha… funneh. It’s a photo I took of some purdy clouds.

Big Sky - by Erin Guest,

You can totally buy this print… Just sayin’…

11. Favorite soda?
Don’t touch the stuff.

12. What type of shirt are you wearing?
A very too-large-for-me-now red v-neck.

13. If you could only use one form of transportation?
“Beam me up, Scottie!”

14. Most recent movie you have watched in theater?
Um… that one with the… thing… and that actress… I don’t remember.

15. Name an actor/actress/singer you have had the hots for.
See the question about the redheads. Yeah.

16. What’s your favorite kind of cake?
I DON’T like anything with cherries or marzipan or fake cream. Other than that, it’s all good.

17. What did you have for dinner last night?
OMG… Pollo pumpkin from Baffetti’s… IT WAS SO GOOD!!!!

18. Look to your left, what do you see?
An alarm clock, a headband, a phone, a couple of DVDs, a photoshop magazine and a mostly drunk glass of cordial that’s been there way too long…

19. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?

20. Favorite toy as a child?
Anything my sister got.

21. Do you buy your own groceries?
Yes. Who doesn’t?

22. Do you think people talk about you behind your back?
They always have. And occasionally I like to give them something to talk about.

23. When was the last time you had gummy worms?
Never had them…

24. What’s your favorite fruit?
Very ripe stone fruit. And berries. OMG.

25. Do you have a picture of yourself doing a cartwheel?
I have never done a cartwheel though I am sure a picture of myself doing one would be HIL-FUCKING-LARIOUS.

The Right to Bear Arms – What a joke.

Once again in America some retard has walked into a public space and killed a bunch of people with heavy-duty firearms.

It makes me angry that an entire country is so caught up in their “rights” that they can’t see what sort of damage it’s doing.

“Oh, but if this had been in Texas, I would have shot the guy before he did all that damage.”

Yuh-huh.  Right.  And you, with your lovely little gun in your purse or jacket holster would have been able to locate your gun and then fire at, hit, and kill a man who was wearing Kevlar and using tear gas in a dark cinema and not risk hurting anyone else or getting yourself killed?

Fuck. Off.

I hate these arguments.

My own personal beliefs?  Unless you’re a farmer or in an occupation that decrees a need to be armed at all time for your protection, then no, you don’t fucking need a gun.  If you want to shoot on a recreational basis, then yes, jump through those fiery hoops to get a couple of guns and be under constant scrutiny from the authorities.

On the flip-side, as proven by what has happened in Australia since gun laws were changed leading out from the 1996 Port Arthur massacre, any sort of law will not stop a crazy person from killing.  If someone really wants to do it, they will find a way and usually, ironically, a legal way (it seems) to obtain a firearm and use it to kill.  Take the 2002 Monash University killings here in Melbourne.  Apparently that guy got his guns through completely legal means, through a shooting club.  And of course we still have all the bikie gangs with their semi-automatic (and totally illegal) firearms spraying each other’s houses and regularly shooting each other in the head.

People kill people – I get that. But stop making it so fucking easy for people to kill people.

How can this be fixed? I don’t think it can. As much as I would love everyone to pass in their weapons, in a country as big and heavily populated as the States are, it would be impossible to police anyway and I will happily admit that gun laws have not stopped crazies from killing people here in Australia, either.  Where there is an argument against having guns, there are also perfectly acceptable arguments for having them that make complete sense too.

It just frustrates the hell out of me when babies are killed in places where the possibility of dying should not even be an issue.

They were watching a movie, for goodness sake!

Things that make you go GRRR!

Ok, is this the face of a vicious killer?

Bronagh, Australian Bulldog / Bosdog -

I mean… seriously?

Every time I take B for a walk, I have a 50:50 chance of someone stopping me and telling me off for having a “pitbull” in the neighbourhood.

Dangerous dogs, them pitbulls!

You should be ashamed of yourself!

That thing should be put down, I’m calling the council!


Is this the face of a vicious, kitten-mashing, kiddie-mauling killer?

Bronagh, Australian Bulldog / Bosdog -

I don’t think so.

She’s a bulldog, for sure. An Australian Bulldog, specifically. She’s got a face only a mother (ie, ME) could love. She’s so submissive she just about pees herself when my cats come near the back door. She is nose and belly to the ground when faced with a dog barely a quarter of her size during walks. This dog is not vicious in any sense of the word.

Crazy. Yes.

Mental. Yes.

Stubborn. Yes.

Energetic and enthusiastic? Yes and gawd, YES.

And did I mention mental?

My point is this dog will wet herself first before she even so much as growls.

So a few days ago I was talking B for a walk the local off-lead area with my mother. We were just on our way back to the car when we noticed a mum and toddler-ish daughter playing with their young-looking Golden Retriever (lovely dogs, if a little stupid) and, being the responsible dog owner who keeps her untrained puppy on a lead at all times, I reeled in my dog in preparation for the “OMGGOTTAPLAYNOOOOOW!” onslaught that was about to happen.

Sure enough, the retriever caught sight of B and bolted in our direction. I wasn’t worried, “Molly” was just a young dog herself. And B was delighted. And she, Molly, my mother and I all ended up in a big, enthusiastic puppy knot.

What was the problem? That woman walked AWAY another couple hundred metres rather than come to collect her dog. Not only that, but she screamed at her kid (who started to toddle over) to keep her away from us.



No lady, you get your backside over to where your dog is causing trouble and take it away since it’s obviously not coming when you feebly call for her from an extreme distance.

I understand that I am in an off-lead dog zone, however, the big-assed sign says “offlead dogs must be in the control of their owners at all times”. This dog wasn’t being controlled at all. Normally I wouldn’t have cared but I was doing the right thing by having my dog on a lead… never mind that that has more to do with the fact that I wouldn’t be able to get her back again… I would expect the other dog owner to come and collect their animal if it’s painfully clear that the other dog owner is having trouble.

But I know why she didn’t. From a distance my dog looks like a nasty shark on a leash. (NOT!) But it was clear that both the dogs were just playing. Literally rolling over each other in their enthusiasm. It was funny but annoying. It’s not the first time it’s happened, either. I had another similar occurrence where a young German Shepherd decided to come and play and the owner literally sat there and watched me try to keep moving on with Bronagh (unsuccessfully) before I turned and snarled at him to check his mutt before I kicked it in the head.

No, I didn’t say that, but there was a snarl and I did tell him to check his dog. Twice.  Eedjit.

In hindsight, I should have just clipped the spare lead onto Molly’s harness and walked off with her. Obviously her owner didn’t want her, right?

It’s so fucked up.

What was even more irritating was when I finally got the madly playing duo apart and sent Molly back on her way over to her owner, I could see the stupid bint bend down and check her dog for injuries.


From a dog that doesn’t even have a full set of teeth!


Anyway, we have now booked B in for a full day behavioural course thingy with Vern Ryan, apparently the dog whisperer of … at least this side of town… in hopes that we can get some of Bronagh’s quirky behaviour sorted out.

But shit like this doesn’t help her and it certainly doesn’t help me.


Oh How Pinteresting, July 18, 2012 – Red Smoke

Well, today I thought I was going out. But then I realised I got the day wrong – it’s tomorrow.

So what’s a girl to do when she’s wearing a face full of makeup and has nowhere to go?

Easy. Apply MOAR makeup!

So that’s what I did.

And then I took some very low quality images with my awful laptop camera because the light was good and I couldn’t be bothered setting up and fiddling around with my SLR. I promise there will be better photos the next time around, ‘kay?



Red Smoke Makeup -

I didn’t exactly start with a clean slate for this look. I’d already applied what is my signature look – a light brown smokey eye. Since I wasn’t going anywhere, I decided to try adapting the brown to a rich, slightly gothy red and burgundy instead.

My brown smokey eye consists of Naked (on the lid) and Buck (on outer V) from the Urban Decay Naked palette, as well as a dark brown matte from NYX just to darken up the crease a little more and eyeliner pencil in Dark Brown from NYX as well just through the top lash line for definition. It’s a very muted smokey eye, perfect for office or daytime socials.

For my red smokey eye, I pulled out my (growing) stash of Makeup Geek colours to have a play. Here’s what I used and where I used them:

Shimma Shimma – a beigey-cream coloured shimmery shadow. Used in the inside corners and tear duct areas as well as a highlight just under my eyebrows.

Moondust – a shimmery, dark satin taupe colour with a slightly greeny-brown tinge. Used this on the centre part of my lid.

Bitten – a matte, ruddy red. Used this to create the smoked out outer V around my eyes and about halfway across under my eyes. I smoked this out with a fluffy brush.

Burlesque – a shimmery satin burgundy. This I put in the crease for a little more definition and depth and used it to smoke up the eyes a little more underneath my bottom lash line.

Razzleberry – a stunning pink/red with gold glitter. I swept this beneath the eyes from the inner corner to about 3/4 of the way across into the bitten. It’s a much lighter shade than Burlesque and Bitten but the contrast adds a touch of lighteness.

Corrupt – blacker-than-black matte. This stuff is the deepest black matte eyeshadow I’ve ever used. It’s great. I used this sparingly on a small, angled eyebrow brush to line my eyes, using a pressing motion for the top and just sweeping over the corners at the bottom.

To finish off, I lined my waterline with MaxFactor’s “Liquid Effects” in black and smoked it down a bit underneath my eyes for a more intense look. Lastly I used some basic waterproof mascara by Rimmel.

You can get all of the Makeup Geek colours (there’s 56 of ‘em!) at, not to mention a BUNCH of tutorials and makeup inspiration.

Red Smoke Makeup -

And keeping the whole makeup theme going, my OHP theme this week is MAKEUP!

Surprise, surprise. ;)

Source: via Erin on Pinterest


Very similar brown smokey eye, like I do it.



A beautiful green and gold! Inspiration for the London Olympics, perhaps? Go Aussies!


Source: via Erin on Pinterest


Another greeny look. Love the simplicity.


Source: via Erin on Pinterest


An oil-slick inspired look.



The PERFECT cat eye. And isn’t Christina Hendricks awesome?



Intense colour on pale skin. Always a winner.


Ren + Craft = ??? (Part 2)

In the last episode of Ren versus the Sock Toy Owl, we’d only got as far as unboxing the goodies in the kit.

Now starts the fun!

It was time to murder the first sock.

Yes, my hands were shaking, there was no going back after this. I was either going to do it right, or fuck EVERYTHING up with the first cut…

Craft Schmaft -

Is it possible for a mostly inanimate object to look pissed off? Because I think this sock is the sock version of :|

Craft Schmaft -

Oops. Sorry ’bout that.

I think my owl is cranky.

Anyway… the next bit was going to be the sort of fun that isn’t very fun at all. I had to backstitch this sucker closed.

There was only one problem. I had no idea how to backstitch. WHAT THE HELL IS BACKSTITCH?

Yeup. Thank you Google for telling me and Youtube for showing me.

Craft Schmaft -

Except this happened and my world nearly ended:

Craft Schmaft -


But then, magically, the knot loosened and I was able to finish up with an only somewhat untidily stitched sock puppet that looked like the love child of Batman, Spiderman and… possibly Spongebob.

Craft Schmaft -

So the instructions said to stuff said sock “until you get a nice plump shape”.

What the heck is a nice plump shape? How much stuffing is a nice plump shape? Ok, my nice plump shape is kinda squarish and not prettily round like the pictures… WHAT THE HELL?! ARRRGGGHHH!

Yes, stuffing the thing gave me conniptions.

I told you I wasn’t very good at this stuff… ing. (Geddit? Stuffing? Ok, I’ll shut up now.)

Craft Schmaft -

Oh yes, I totally went there with a Jeff Dunham reference.

(Please don’t sue me, Jeffypoo…)

So then I eventually got what I thought was a nice plump, roundy shape (with a little bit of reworking the stuffing so there was less lumpy bits poking out) and then I had to sew the little bugger shut – whilst maintaining said roundy shape.

Cold sweats ensued but we soldiered on, this crankypants sock toy and I.

Craft Schmaft -

No, I had NO idea what I was doing. I was winging it. Hoping for the best. Praying that the sock wouldn’t unravel before I could stitch the poor bird’s innards in securely.

Eventually I ended up with this…

Craft Schmaft -

SQUEE! Isn’t he cute?! I could totally stop now. Really. Is it over yet?

What? What feet? Who said anything about feet? What owl needs feet? These owls are attached to a mobile with string. They’re not going to run a marathon…

But no, apparently I also needed to cut the toe of the sock in half and somehow manage to make them look like feet and affix said feet to said bird.


Craft Schmaft -

(Don’t forget, you can totally get this and other gorgeous sock toy patterns at Craft Schmaft.)

Sunday Stealing, July 15 2012


Today my mother held a high tea for fun (and partly for her birthday during the week)… we also had a Red Velvet Cupcake cook-off… I don’t know who won but everyone loved the food. Me especially. Ate WAY too much and my stomach hurts. It was nice meeting some of mum’s friends though. They’re a bunch of lovely people. Not to mention that one of them brought along a pair of four month-old twins to show off. OMG, I am not the maternal type (yet) but their big blue eyes were so gorgeous. Ugh, adorableness to the extreeeeeeeme.

Anyway, it’s time for another…

Movie Meme!

1. What is your all-time favorite movie costume?
Oh goodness, there are so many great costumes. I guess, at a pinch, I’d have to say Eowyn’s green velvet dress from Lord of the Rings; Two Towers would have to be a favourite in the “girly” category for me. But then, mostly any beautiful gown in any period or fantasy movie takes my breath away.

2. What classic film would you nominate for a remake?
I wouldn’t! There’s a fucking reason why they are CLASSICS!!!! *breathing hellfire and brimstone*

Continue reading

Ren + Craft = ??? (Part 1)

Ok, so my last “Oh How Pinteresting” link-up made me curious about the little projects that I’ve pulled out and had displayed on the shelves in my craft room. This is stuff I’ve bought over many years of attending various craft fairs with my mother as an annual (or whenever there happens to be one) mother-daughter pilgrimage.

I always have highfalutin and fanciful ideas that I can do crafty stuff when I’m in that environment.  It must be the whole surrounded by the OMGSOPRETTYCOOLSQUEEEEEEness of it all.

But, see… I have trouble with that sort of thing.  The whole sewing thing.   Particularly stuff that involves the cutting and the needles and the threading and the stitching…

You’re looking at a girl who failed her first attempt at getting a sewing machine licence in her high school textiles class.

(Yes, we had sewing machine licences. We had to prove that we weren’t going to play funny buggers with the equipment. You do not need to know about the horror of the destroyed bobbin on my first attempt.)

(Yes. I am deadly serious.)

(It was a massacre.)

(I also broke the foot thingy.)

(Not the needle foot thingy, the accelerator thingy – the bit that makes it go…)

(Don’t ask.)

Anyway, so in my delusional state of HOWHARDCOULDITBE? I ended up coming home with a little boxed project from a lovely artist by the name of Claire of Craft Schmaft who sells sock toy patterns and kits.

SOCK TOYS.  How could you not instantly love that?

When I saw the Sock Toy Owl mobile hanging in her stall, I was in love. Hopelessly in love. I wanted to have that owl’s baby-sock owl chicks.

Hm. Maybe a bit gross but it gets the point across – I loved them.

And I bought a kit.

This was three years ago, at least, because we’ve been in this house for three years now.  That’s how enthusiastic I was about putting them together when I got home.  I sort of looked at them and thought to myself, “Ren, what on earth were you on when you bought that?”

Don’t get me wrong, I still loved them (love them now, even) but once sense returned, I realised that it would be a cold day in Hell before I sewed even one little owlette together.

Well… looks like Satan is skating to work these days because I grabbed that box and opened it for the first time this morning.


Craft Schaft - Ren's attempt at stitchery

I love the packaging. It’s so simply done, yet effective.


Craft Schaft - Ren's attempt at stitchery

Ooo, ooo, ooo! Look, the first peek inside and an idea of what the owls are supposed to look like.


Craft Schaft - Ren's attempt at stitchery

Now this – THIS was cool.  Totally unexpected; a little tin that had the extra bits and pieces and probably where I could hide the evidence of sock murder I am about to commit later if things don’t turn out well.


Craft Schaft - Ren's attempt at stitchery

This is everything in the kit, sans stuffing which I don’t think anyone needs to see.  Some very cute socks-soon-to-be-owls, a few contrasting bits of patterned material, threads AND a needle. Clair thought of everything.  Really, all I need to do is provide the scissors.


Craft Schaft - Ren's attempt at stitchery

And that’s the pattern book.  Don’t the owls just look precious?

Stay tuned for the next installment of Ren + Craft = ???.

Will she succeed?

Will she fail?

Will she end up stitching a sock to her shirt?

Eh, that last one is probably the most likely.

High Five for Friday, July 13, 2012

Ooooh, it’s Friday the 13th!

That one crept up on me.

I remember when Friday the 13th was heralded in with warnings about not going under ladders or letting a black cat cross your path…

Oh dear…

Dugite, the cat -


I am totally fucked.  Ha!

My unlucky Friday 13th cat, Dugite is, contrary to popular belief, a little sweety.  She’s been extra cute this week seeing as I’ve been home and in a little bit of a funk these past few days.  She’s always nearby for a cuddle. Particularly if I am eating yoghurt at the time.

Bindi, the cat -


Not so scary, or menacing, or… smart… is Bindi, who like her sister, is doing a very good job of keeping me company. When I’m in bed. Trying to read on my laptop.

Bronagh, the Aussie Bulldog -


My dog Bronagh has also been a help this week, whether or not she knows it. We have a tense relationship. I love her to death, she doesn’t quite love me. It’s a sticking point. There has been lots of walking and pats and cuddles which she not-so-patiently puts up with.

Husband -

Husband, mine. No, not the bloody cat!

Even though you will NEVER see a picture of him on this blog in his entirety (he hates photographs – probably for the same reasons I used to hate them), the manbeast has been an unwavering and excessively patient person this last…well, 10 or so years and particularly this past six months and more acutely this week.  He doesn’t read my blog but if he decides to (or a friend points him in this direction)… I love you, manbeast.

Lastly, and I don’t have a picture of her, but I’ve got to give a massive shout out to Kerry (you know who you are) from Weight Watchers who gave me a call today out of the blue. She’s been sending me awesome text messages, especially last week as the countdown to the end of my employment happened and she’s become a lovely friend through the WW community.  Anyone doing WW on their own through the online subscription should totally get involved with the community there.

And that’s my…

The Skinny on Gettin’ Skinny

At little pre-warning – this is a long post. If you don’t like long posts, go read the paper, or something. ;)


Ever heard the term “fat and happy”?  I’m sure you would have.  I’d say you’d have to be living under a rock to not have heard that term at least once in your life.

The fact of the matter is “fat and happy” simply does not exist and anyone – ANYONE – trying to tell themselves or anyone else that it does is lying.

That is not to say that I don’t believe in curves.  I actually really detest the hard-bodied look on women but I think there is an achievable balance between the gentle peaks and valleys of Nigella Lawson and the rippling, washboard plains of Michelle Bridges.


Source: via Erin on Pinterest



“Curvy and healthy” is more of a truth than “fat and happy” in any case.

To that end, I wanted to lose weight. I was sad and very unhealthy and I wanted to fix both of those things.  Now I am not quite as sad and I’m moderately healthier.

Having lost as much weight as I have, especially now that it’s very obvious, more and more people I know are pulling me over for a quiet chat.

“What are you doing?”

“How are you doing it?”

“What’s your secret?”

And the most frustrating one, “Lap band?”

They look at me, all hopeful-like, expecting me to tell them about this wonder drug that I take that makes you skinny in hardly any time at all.  And I feel so sad for them because I remember asking those same questions, hoping against hope that the person I was talking to would tell me that their doctor put them on this wondrous medication that made you lose weight really quickly and had no awful side effects.  Knowing that other people feel that same desperation really upsets me.  It’s horrible to know that it’s just so common.

There is no such thing as fat and happy.  Everyone who asks me proves it, time and time again.

How am I losing my weight?

This is my answer:

With determination.

With effort.

With education.

With practice.

With guidance.

With support.

With patience.

And it sucks.

If this shit were easy, everyone would be rake thin and gorgeously fit. It’s heart-achingly hard work. But! It’s paying off slowly.

Weight Watchers is not an easy program to follow compared to Lite n’ Easy, Jenny Craig, Tony Ferguson and the rest.  Nothing is done for you.  There’s no meals no meals and menus. No meal replacement shakes.  You’re given your limitations – you’re allocated set of points per day and you have to stick to those points. That is the only hard and fast rule.  You have to work out the balance within those points.  Just to make it more difficult, you’re also given a weekly allocation of points to use as you see fit which can be for things like surprise morning teas at work where you just can’t say no to a slice or cake. Or a birthday celebration and need to factor in that extra glass of wine (or five).  The point is you have to educate yourself.  I’ve spent the past 18 months educating myself.

Yes, it takes THAT LONG.

And, frustratingly, it may take even longer.

For those of you who have read this far and are in it for the long-haul, this is the email that my lovely friend Janet (my WW guru and bestie who has lost 40-odd kg too) sent me when I first sent her that cry for help in November, 2010.

It has all the information anyone would need in order to achieve success and these are wise words I constantly refer back to.

Continue reading

Oh How Pinteresting, July 11, 2012

As I’m home and doing nothing for a while (due to being jobless, did I not say that before?) I thought I would peruse Pinterest for crafty things to do to fill up some hours.

Nevermind the fact that I’ve got several boxed projects waiting to be opened up and put together.  One day I’ll blog about ‘em.

In the interim, Pinterest is a never-ceasing ideas smorgasbord…

A handy-dandy home-make planner/calendar made with paint chips and a picture frame. Genius!



It’s Winter and therefore we all need some pocket warmers. I’d never actually seen these thingies before but considering my hands are constantly cold, I think I am going to HAVE to make some.

Source: via Erin on Pinterest



A puppet horse out of sticks.  Why the heck not?!

Source: via Erin on Pinterest



If you have a look at my Crafty DIY board on Pinterest, you can see a few different pins of various fairy gardens. I am enraptured by the cuteness and my inner fantasy geek is going SQUEE! all over the place.



This has got to be my most popular pin out of everything I’ve ever pinned.  A squirrel made out of an old glove. Serious cuteness right here.