January 2013 review… by Facebook status.

December 31:
“A’ight. Going to bed. Happy New Year, all! Remember to drink two glasses of water before you go to sleep if you’ve been on the piss all night… or get someone sobre to remember for you. ;) (Friends in the northern hemisphere, I’ll let you know how the future is in the morning.)”

January 1:

“Good morning! Hope there’s not too many sore heads today. :)”

January 2:

“Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.”

“‎3am and all’s well. Except I’m hungry and coughing like a … thing that coughs a lot.”

“Crap, just finished all the mandarins.”

“That moment you just begin to panic after not being able to find one of your cats for the better part of 20 minutes… only to have her stroll out of the one room you didn’t check, wearing a look that clearly says “Calm the fuck DOWN, woman!””

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“Grr. Being sick sucks.”

“Guy Pearce, sans eyebrows, is rather disturbing. (Watching ‘Lawless’.)”

“If I set up a Madeit shop… you reckon people would buy the shit I make?”

“‎:poop:”

January 3:

“Wow… apparently I’ve been living under a rock… it’s 36 degrees today… and a stinking 41 tomorrow. OUCH. Lots of soakings for the puppy.”

“Making a doggie treat ice block for tomorrow for B. She loves her “icypoles”.”

“Ah, mersyndol, how I love thee…zzzzzzzzzz”

“And of course… it’s a hot day so Metro craps out all over the place. Just got the first of what will be many cancellations of peak hour services.”

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January 4:

“I’m in hell. Officially. Can’t walk. Can’t sit. Can’t lay on back. Can’t lay on front. Ice not helping. Heat not helping. Cats not helping. And it has to be better by Monday.”

January 5:

“I really want to be on the computer now working on stuff (photos, design, logo for me) and instead I am flat on my back (and occasionally stomach) on a mattress in the living room because I’ve done something horrible to my back. Terrified this is not going to get better enough for me to function next week – I have interviews every day.”

January 6:

“Heartburn is bad, mmm’kay?”

“Word of the day: Hippopotamonstrosessquipdaliaphobia.
Meaning: A fear of long words.
Oh medical people, you so funneh.”

January 7:

“Sleepy rubbing of eyes whilst wearing non-waterproof mascara… BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD OW BAD!”

“Dead porcine cooking. BEST. SMELL. EVER.”

January 8:

“A LOT is TWO DAMNED WORDS. It is also not spelled ALLOT. *headmash*”

“Vic Police have a warrant to arrest Corinthian Morgan. OMG, what a cool name. There’s a sparkly vampire novel in that. The vampires, that is. Sparkly. Not the novel.”

“Sudden overwhelming desire to try on wedding dress. BRB.”

“Gearing up for THIRD interview of the week tomorrow. Jeebus. This is becoming a habit.”

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January 9:

“My dog has been digging with her face again.”

“Chilling and watching the IAWTV Awards. Wee! (Any excuse to see Felicia Day.)”

“Sudden attack of super freakin’ tired and need to sleep. Waiting on a call. Shit.”

“So sick of not being able to move.”

January 10:

“Dear Recruitment Agent, whyfore you go on holiday until next week when you are supposed to be telling me if I have a job or not? NOT ASSEPTIBLE!”

“Ah hah! Not so shaggy anymore. Chickened out on colour. Maybe next time.”

“So I didn’t get that job. Starting to wonder if there’s something seriously wrong with me.”

January 11:

“Well… that was a pretty good interview today. Would looove to work there. Good comapny for one, great people for two – I know that because I used to work with a number of them. LOL Fingers crossed folkses.”

“D’ya reckon I could put “moth catching” on my resume? Because seriously, I got the skillz. 5:0 to me thus far this afternoon. (Yes, we have a moth problem.)”

“Does anyone else watch the Lizzie Bennett Diaries on youtube? I need to talk about how awesome it is BECAUSE IT TOTALLY IS.”

“Um… A small dog has invited herself into my house.”

“And doggie’s owner found. Eesh.”

January 12:

“Who does someone have to do naughty things to to get a thick shake at 3.30am in the morning? Yes, I am aware of how bad that question sounds and Double Entendre King will pick it up… but seriously… I wanted a thick shake last night on the way home from a friend’s place. Hungry Jacks and McDonalds, WHY bother having 24 hour drive-through if there is no ice cream?! What else do folks want to eat at that time of morning apart from a freakin’ kebab? ICE CREAM! /rant.”

“Ok. The back’s improved. Time to get this body back on track. I want to rock a wiggle dress next summer.”

January 13:

“What to do? What to do? Might attempt to use the computer today… because cleaning the house is not as fun and not necessary at all. (read: the house is a disaster zone and I am in denial.)”

“If I get one more person presume to tell me my dog is vicious, I WILL let her off lead to show her how vicious she can get. Their dog will be ferociously played with and sniffed to death. And quite possibly excitedly pee’d upon in the process. Just a point of note, the idiots who keep giving my dog a wide berth or say anything to me are those with larger breeds who could do far more damage than B ever could. The people with the little yapyaps allow their dogs to bounce around all over her if I let them. /wryface”

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January 14:

“Right. Time to go give the post office *another* telling off.”

January 15:

“CAKE OR DEATH?!”

“Can I just say I was extremely impressed with the Golden Globe fashion this year? Some beeyootiful dresses. Lucy Liu was so damned pretty (nice to see something completely different) and that green number Tina Fey was wearing… loved it to bits. Even the bad dresses weren’t all *that* bad. /girlymoment”

“VECTOR VECTOR VECTOR VECTOR!”

“Right TASTFEST t-shirt half-done. Back stretch and then the other half…”

January 16:

“/sigh.”

“Watching “Brave”. Angus the horse is *beautifully* animated.”

“I wanna shoot someone. With a camera, that is.”

January 17:

“God I hate summer. Eff you, mozzies. *scratch scratch*”

“Oh hell… it’s Thursday, innit? Weigh-in tonight. [insert swearing]”

“Where is my danged nail polish?! *staring balefully at mailbox*”

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January 18:

“Anyone know where I can get cheap wood doors? Two thereof?”

January 19:

“Seriously? jewellery-making mojo spark at *this* time of the morning??”

“That moment when you have a really good idea and you stop and think; “How do I even DO that?!””

“OMG… macrame. It can stay in the freakin’ 70s! *now permanently cross-eyed*”

“*grumblemutterswear* stupidmotherfuckingknotdoesn’tworkformethesameasitdoesinthevideo *swearmuttergrumble*”

January 20:

“It’s not a beading day if there isn’t a copious amount of swearing.”

“Ok… *may* have indulged in too much baklava and then cake leftovers. /green”

January 21:

“Going to sleep in board shorts… not the best idea I’ve ever had. /uncomfortable”

“I must not stab anyone who uses HDR inappropriately. I must not stab anyone who uses HDR inappropriately. I must not stab anyone who uses HDR inappropriately. I must not stab anyone who uses HDR inappropriately. I must not stab anyone who uses HDR inappropriately…”

“How am I feeling, Facebook? Depressed as fuck. However I am going to attempt to make myself feel better by watching “An Evening of Awesome at Carnegie Hall” on the laptop and work on my BF challenge piece.”

“STOP! Hammer time! *bashing silver*”

“I may have dropped the laptop… it may be slightly askew… but it’s still working… obviously, since I am using it now…”

“OMFG… that moment when a bag of beads breaks…. several feet from the floor… a hardwood floor… and there’s a cat in the room.”

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January 22:

“Beading, beading, beading. Two necklaces, a bracelet… thus far.”

“MUAHAH! I am Skypeable!”

“I cannot believe I am under two doonas at the moment. Stupid freaky body temperature.”

January 23:

“wow… no jobs today. :(”

“Tissue stowaway in the wash. Of course it’s the load that I do *all* my jeans, right? Right. Of course.”

“This bracelet needs dangles. So dangles it shall have.”

“Rocking some Avril eyes at the moment. Shoot me if I start singing Sk8er Boi though…”

“New favourite eyeshadow EVER… Prestige Total Intensity in Hocus-Pocus. OMFG.”

January 24:

“Going to bed at 3am this morning, only to have to wake up at 6.30am to drive mum to the station… yeah, not the best idea I’ve ever had.”

“Birds flying high…
You know how I feel… (I’d like to shoot the squawky little fuckers.)
Sun in the sky…
You know how I feel… (One word: Sunburn.)
Breeze driftin’ by…
You know how I feel… (Choking on smoke and dust.)
It’s a new dawn… (I know, I’ve been awake since 6.30!)
It’s a new day… (And it’s hot.)
It’s a new life… (Not for the moth I just killed.)
For me…
And I’m feeling good… (Well, I would be if Mr Postie would deliver the nail polish I’ve been waiting on for a month.)”

January 25:

“I bought a ticket for the long way ’round…
Two bottle o’ whiskey for the way…
And I sure would like some sweet company…
And I’m leaving tomorrow, whadya say?”

“Oh yeah, I found the “love you” switch on my dog. Unfortunately it involves scratching her butt. TAKE THAT HOW YOU PLEASE, FACEBOOK.”

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January 26:

“Since I am *once again* an Arcanacon Widow, I am going to spend my Australia Day clearing out the backyard with the help of my lovely, wonderful, talented, SPESHUL brother-in-law.”

“I will eventually get out of bed. Operative word: eventually.”

“I’ve decided. If I was to invite anyone to dinner from any era… it would be Alan Watts.”

January 27:

“Hungry! I demand pancakes! Or at the very least scrambled eggs on toast. *looking lovingly at manbeast*”

January 28:

“Some people think they know everything. I was there. I took the bloody photo. *facepalm* /random status update that means nothing to anyone but me”

“Myna bird trap an overwhelming success on the first day. Problem dive-bomber caught.”

“Hair in bun. Officially old.”

“Dammit. I need a dress! *whine*”

January 29:

“And none of the fucks shall be given for the rest of this week. I have decreed it so.”

January 30:

“Ayyyyyyyyyy-yai-yaiyai… Channeling Jose. On a steek.”

“Going by my “Dream House” Pinterest folder, my dream house is filled with book-nooks, kitchens, bathrooms and chandeliers. And my gardens are filled with wisteria and succulents.”

“That moment when you get an empty, torn envelope in the mail (missing four bottles of nail polish from the States) and a message from Aussie Post saying “This MAY have been our fault but you can’t prove it, so it sucks to be you.””

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One Comment

  1. In pain from laughing, thanks my day is so much better now :o)
    A.D.O.S just fanbloodytastic!
    Hope February is wonderful for you Ren

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