I survived Christmas 2012 and I got was this stupid Hobbit T-shirt.

Actually, what I got for Christmas was the following:

1. A speeding fine.
2. A weird cold/infection/plague thing that’s settled in my chest.
3. 5kg gained over three weeks.
4. No job prospects.
5. An abnormal pap smear result.
6. One of my aunts passed away from cancer. (For any of my friends reading this, no, I am not talking about my aunt Nessa who was diagnosed with melanoma in her eye. She’s still very much alive and kicking.)

Yeah… this Christmas has sort of sucked.

Ah well. Thanks to Peter Jackson, the Boxing Day Movie tradition has been reinstated with the manbeast with a viewing of the much-awaited release of The Hobbit. That was the one thing that I was actually looking forward to this Christmas.

What did I think of the movie?

Eh.

I will say this… I am a fan of the Lord of the Rings series. The Hobbit was a great film and I enjoyed it a lot but I didn’t walk out of the theatre nearly crying because there was 12 months to wait for the next one. Unfortunately I feel that the Powers That Be are milking it for every penny that it’s worth (and it’s kind of worth a lot) and as a result, what is only one short book is going to be stretched out over three movies. Not terribly impressed with that. The pace of the film was extremely slow as a result.

Now, here’s what I did not like about the film…

It had a very Pixar-ish feel about it. I think it had a lot to do with the 48fps frame rate (which, granted, is sped up slightly for the 2D showings of the film) but it was just too crisp and clean and sharp. Yes, Middle Earth isn’t real, I get that, but the grittiness of the original films gave them realism and the audience the impression that it could very well have been a real environment.

The overuse CGI in the new film was also a huge problem. In the LotR series, the antagonists were guys in prosthetics. The awesome Lawrence Makoare played three of the main ones; Lurtz the big Uruk’hai, Gothmog the big boss of the super orcs, and he donned the Witch King’s robes for the final film) and it gave the characters that same sense of realism which I found the most appealing. Sure, the big critters like the massive elephants and the cave trolls were CGI but that was kind of necessary – it’s kinda hard to get a real elephant to play dress-ups and Andre the Giant died about 20 years ago.

The Hobbit’s main bad guy was 100% CGI. And I was bummed because he looked CGI. I don’t know what the difference is this time between the graphics from the LotR films to The Hobbit but it was too crisp and clean – too much colour and to be honest, he did not look nearly evil enough. Ugly, yes, but ugly in the sense that he had a few artistically placed body/battle scars and a missing limb. Gothmog’s abhorrent facial growths and the fact that he was played by a real person made him infinitely scarier.

Even Gollum looked like a cheesy cartoon caricature of himself and even though he was voiced by the marvelous Barry Humphries, the Goblin King was probably the worst bit of CGI in the entire film. I did not like him at all. He looked too comically gross to be taken at all seriously.

Though I will admit, I did rather enjoy the superfluous stone giants scene. It was pretty awesome. And at least it was actually in the book.

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3 Comments

  1. Saw the Hobbit. Loved it. Loved it all. Technical flaws be dammed, loved the experience and got immersed in it. :)

    Also saw Les Mis, could have picked the crap out of it being a HUGE Les Mis fan, but I didn’t. I enjoyed it for what it was.

    Let go Ren, and enjoy the experience.

    Tam says hi.

    • Hee, Rich, I did enjoy it for what it was while I was watching it! It wasn’t like I was wriggling in my chair waiting for it to end or anything. It’s a great film but for me it was slow and for the reasons I explained, it just wasn’t the same as the originals. Another review has labeled it “All pixels and no pulse” and I have to agree with that. I reckon Jackson would have been better off putting it all into two films (or one, even) then battling for the rights to The Silmarillion and making that – because THAT would be awesome.

  2. Hey Ren, slow old me have still to see the Hobbit, given I am a huge Tolkein fan I guess I will forgive a lot. Love the idea of the Silmarillion, would def pay good monies to see that!

    Do hope you have lost the bug and feel well again. Given it is NYE I wish you all you wish for 2013 I know it will be your year xxx

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