Shenanigans of the Faithful

Just a pre-warning to my more sensitive viewers… There is content here that involves swearing.

And perhaps some inappropriate jokes and pictures.

Ok.

I don’t do politics. I don’t do religion. I hate both with a passion… so much so that I avoid overtly faithful blogs – even though they might have KILLER recipes for stuff like ginger cookies and lemon meringue pies. (Damn you, Pinterest!)

But I am so disturbed by what’s happening in the world at the moment with those of the Islamic faith that remaining silent on the issue is killing me. It’s particularly worrisome when you’ve got a mate who works for the American Embassy as a consulate official. No, not in those areas of the Middle East where people have recently been murdered but all the same, she’s at an American consulate and therefore a target of much hatred depending on who’s looking. And she’ll be staying with me for two weeks come Sunday morning. Yay!

(Though the bitch’s plane gets in at SPARROWS BUTTCRACK OF DAWN O’CLOCK! Not happy, Allison.)

Anyhoo… a riot happened in Sydney’s CBD on Saturday… a mob of Angry Muslims(TM) took to the street, declaring a jihad on anyone who didn’t support the Islamic faith and death to the person who created some ridiculous video on Youtube.

Look, I have never really had a problem with anyone wanting to live in this country. You can be from whatever race and creed and I’ll happily support you.

I’ve only ever had a few requirements for newbie citizens…

Firstly, you learn to speak English. Yeup. That’s a real simple one. Speak English. Sure, it’s hard but it’s necessary. English is one of the most widely spoken languages on the entire planet. Consider it Middle Earth Common, or something. It’s important – moreso when you’ve moved to a country that is an English-speaking one. You need to learn how read signs and communicate for your own safety and the safety of those around you, let alone for the convenience of both. So learn English. It doesn’t need to be perfect, just make sure you can make yourself understood and that you can understand others.

Secondly, respect the fact that you are now living in a predominantly CHRISTIAN country, with laws founded in the good old Bible – those commandment thingies, actually. This place was founded on Christian beliefs, however, being the awesome country that it is, you’re more than welcome to practice whatever faith you like. No jokes. It’s all good. We allow temples, synagogues, mosques, churches and gathering places to be built and maintained for your patronage.

Thirdly, and here’s the kicker that folks seem to have the worst problems with… LEAVE THE BULLSHIT BEHIND.

Presumably you’re coming to this country for a crack at better opportunities, safety, freedom and all that good stuff, right? Perhaps you already have family who came over here to study or something and loved it so much that you decided to join them. That’s cool…

But leave the rubbish behind. If your country didn’t suck so much, you wouldn’t be here. So why are you carrying on like morons?

The fact that you (being a very generalised “you” and not directed to anyone but the most ridiculous amongst you) apparently want to kill anyone who so much as raises an eyebrow at the idea of Allah and his magical Prophet is pathetic. Ok, that can work in your country where everyone who isn’t Islamic is severely outnumbered but here in Australia we make room for everyone. Unlike your country… FREEDOM OF SPEECH IS A PRIVILEGE THAT YOU DON’T GET KILLED FOR.

NB – Freedom of speech is not a “right” in Australia. We do not have a Constitution. It’s a privilege. Full stop.

So you numbnuts were allowed to march into the CBD and incite violence because you were safe from being shot dead or otherwise cut down in cold blood… but at the same time, you have people handing signs to children that say “behead those who insult the prophet”.

I’m digressing from the point I was actually going to make.

This is it:

It’s time that Islam grew up and put it’s big-kid undies on. People will make fun of religion. They question it. They criticise it. It becomes the subject of debate as well as jokes (tasteful or otherwise) and no, not everyone will love it and respect it as one of the truly faithful would. That, however, does not give any Muslim the right to make threats of murder – or indeed commit actual murder – in the name of some omnipotent being just because someone says something against said omnipotent being.

There is a certain cartoon that’s been published… it’s rather graphic but it basically shows Shiva, Moses, Jesus and Buddha performing sexual acts in a group orgy.

Do you see any Catholic and Christians going bananas? Nope. How about the Buddhists? Nah, they’re very zen about it too. And I haven’t seen any Hindus walking about the streets calling for people to be killed.

Wear your burqas. Ride your prayer mats a million times a day. I have no problem with having a multicultural/multifaith society. But seriously, if you’re so angry about a simple video/cartoon/opinion, you’re welcome to go back to wherever it was that you came from. AND if you were born here and are spouting this shit, feel free to take advantage of your dual citizenship and move to the country that supports your insanity. You have no idea how good you have it here!

One of my favourite Youtubers, the Fat Aussie Barstard made a brilliant video…

WARNING, not for the faint of heart, m’kay? Good.