Porridge for the Soul

  By Ren | June 15, 2013 - 11:26 AM | ,
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That title isn’t a metaphor. I am actually talking about porridge.  I’ve grown to love the  stuff.  Oat porridge, semolina porridge (which is awesome if you’ve never tired it), plain porridge, porridge with STUFF in it…

It’s all good. And I’m in healthy mode these days so long gone are the much loved Bacon and Egg Breakfasts.

Though I still love bacon.

And eggs.

So here are a couple of my favourite porridge combos for those chilly weekends when all you want to do is stay in bed with a nice cup of tea and a book with something nourishing to eat. And it can be done in a microwave – because I am a one-pot-wonder I prefer it this way but if you like to cook your porridge on the stove, go right ahead.

(These aren’t new, but new to me.)

Banana Nut Porridge

If you’re a nut, honey and banana freak like me, you’ll love this. The LSA adds a lovely nutty flavour without being as ProPoints/calorie damaging as throwing in a handful of plain ground nuts.  And of course bananas and honey combined is food of the gods.

Ingredients:

  • 1 Serve of oat porridge.  For me a serve is 45g which equates to half a cup of oats.
  • Double ratio of milk to oats. (1 cup water to 1/2 cup oats.)
  • 1 large definitely ripe-but-not-black banana. Um, I am not racist (banana-ist?) against black bananas. If you like black bananas, have black bananas. If you like green bananas, have green bananas. I like the natural sweetness from a ripe, slightly spotty banana and I’d personally save the really mushy stuff for baking.
  • LSA – aka Linseed, Sunflowers and Almond. This stuff is killergood for you but can be high for ProPoints so watch your serves – 1 tbsp is enough for me. You can find it health food shops and in your health aisle at the supermarket.
  • Honey … for honey love…

Method:

  1. Cook your oats with your milk as you see fit and while that’s bubbling away, chop your ‘nana.
  2. And that’s ‘nana as in BAnana as opposed to your actual Nana which would be gross…
  3. Unless you were a zombie in which case… nom?
  4. Anyway… once your BANANA is chopped and your porridge is cooked, throw it all together in the pot/bowl with your LSA and mix.
  5. Have a wee taste and see if it’s sweet enough for you. If you’ve used a ripe banana, it might not need anything but if you’ve used green banana or are an incurable sweet tooth like myself, mix in a teaspoon of honey. That’s really all you need and the flavour of banana and honey? OH. MY. GOD.
  6. Eat with wild, noisy abandon!

Tip: I like to make sure the bananas are slightly cooked into the porridge so I throw everything back into the microwave for 30 seconds.  It increases the intensity of the flavour.

Apple Cinnamon Porridge (with Honey)

Are we sensing a honey theme here?  Honey makes everything good.

Ingredients:

  • 1 Serve of oat porridge
    Double ratio of honey to milk (see above)
  • 1 Pink Lady or Gala apple, peeled and finely chopped.  NO – DO NOT USE GRANNY SMITHS FOR THEY ARE FOUL AND DISGUSTING CREATURES.
  • Cinnamon … about a quarter tsp (pronounced “tsssssp”)
  • Honey or dark brown sugar … mmmm…

Method:

  1. Make your porridge… as you do… but only to 3/4 cooked!  Then stop! This is important.
  2. Chop your apple.  REMEMBER, IF YOU USE GRANNY SMITH APPLES YOU WILL DIE A HORRIBLE PAINFUL DEATH WHERE… I DON’T KNOW… A THOUSAND CAT TONGUES WILL FLAY THE FLESH FROM YOUR BONES… OR SOMETHING.  JUST DON’T.
  3. Add your apple and cinnamon to your porridge and continue cooking until cooked.  (Yep, that makes perfect sense.) Stewed apple is awesome so slightly softened apple with the cinnamon makes this taste like apple pie… Mmm.
  4. If you want extra sweetness, add the honey.
  5. Munch and enjoy!

Tip: Alternatively, if you want a caramel-ish flavour instead of a honey flavour, add dark brown sugar.

For the Weight Watcher people: Obviously I can’t really give you ProPoints values as you add everything to taste and the volumes you prefer (and I no longer have access to the calculators to work it out) but generally speaking it’s a higher-than-average PP breakfast, which is why I would save it to the days you really want something substantial.

 

Nouveau Garden

  By Ren | June 12, 2013 - 10:39 PM |
3 Comments

So…

I made this:

Renlish.com - Nouveau Garden Necklace

Using a lush Peruzi pendant, sterling silver, Karen Hilltribe Silver roses and matching clasp (not shown), beads in amazonite (blue), rhodonite (pinkish) and crystal. and some fresh water pearls.

Yes, it’s for sale. Interested parties can contact me for pricing.

Saturday (err, Sunday) 9…

  By Ren | June 2, 2013 - 8:34 PM |
2 Comments

I start my contract job tomorrow (first job in nearly a year, lordy) and starting to feel the nerves come on so I thought I would distract myself by doing a meme.

Saturday 9: (Amazing) Just the Way You Are

1) This song is about a girl who can’t accept how pretty she is. How do you respond to compliments? Do you accept them graciously, or do you get embarrassed?

I used to be a non-believer in my looks. Unfortunately when most people looked at me, all they saw was the weight. Many still do see the weight even though there’s significantly less of it now. I got “You have SUCH a pretty FACE!…” a lot. A LOT-LOT. So now generally when folks compliment me I am still sort of waiting for that pregnant pause that follows. That being said, I am not so bad anymore. I’ve trained myself to say “thank you” even when I feel like disagreeing. Though sometimes I’ll grin and nod and agree completely because there are just some days that I AM DAMNED HOT.

2) Bruno says he takes inspiration from a variety of musical styles — everything from rock to reggae to hip hop. What kind of music do you listen to most often?

Oh, here’s where I have to admit that I like music but I am not IN TO music. I listen to the radio, I’ll occasionally seek out songs I might have heard on Youtube to have a bit more of a gander at them but apart from that, I really don’t care who is singing what. If it’s catchy or poignant, I like it. I rather like Adele (everything she sings is great) and that Labyrinth song (“Your Beautiful”). The last time I was seriously into music… well…

New Kids on the Block.

Nuff said?

3) Bruno’s uncle was a professional Elvis impersonator, and as a little boy Bruno also performed on stage as the King. When you picture Elvis, do you think of early rock’n'roll Elvis from the 1950s, Technicolor Hollywood Elvis of the 1960s, or the rhinestone jumpsuit Elvis who performed in Las Vegas?

Here’s where I thank my mother for making me grow up watching old movies – including Elvis films! There’s very few of them I haven’t seen from his hay-day in the 50s and 60s. I adore GI Blues and Kissin’ Cousins and of course Viva Las Vegas. So when I think of Elvis, I am thinking of tall, buffed, polished Elvis before the drugs and Yes Men got to him.

4) Bruno plays several instruments onstage, including piano, guitar and congas. What instruments can you play?

None. At all.

Ooh, wait, I lie! I can play piano! My eight year-old cousin has been teaching me! I know my C,D,Es. (Right hand.)

5) Bruno is touring all over the country this summer. What’s the last concert you attended?

The last concert I went to was, sadly, a while ago. John Fogerty. Gawd but that man is awesome – aging but still puts on a fabulous show. I grew up listening to Creedence.

6) Unlike some other stars, Bruno doesn’t demand a lot of luxuries on the road, but he did admit to TMZ that he insists Wet Wipes be provided for his dressing room. If you could ask your boss for anything, anything at all, to make your workplace more comfortable, what would you request?

I’d be able to work from home. In my PJs. Well, that’s the dream is it not?

7) Rumors are flying that Bruno might become a judge on American Idol. Are you an Idol fan? Do you watch any of the other “talent search” shows — The Voice, America’s Got Talent, The X Factor, etc.?

Ugh… I tend to watch those shows vicariously through the commercials as they annoy me and I hate listening to people murder great songs, though I did enjoy the first season of The Voice here in Australia. Karise Eden was spectacular and had the competition beat from the first moment she opened her mouth.

8) Bruno is an unapologetic cigarette smoker. Do you smoke? Have you quit? Or did you never start?

I started when I was 14. Packed it in when I was 21. Cold turkey. Haven’t looked back. It was at least one vice I could say I was very happy to give up.

9) Billy Joel also had a hit with the title “Just the Way You Are.” If we were going to do karaoke, which version would you sing — Billy’s or Bruno’s?

I will admit I like Billy Joel but I HATE that song. It’d be Bruno all the way but as I am tone deaf and cannot sing a note to save myself (except for the odd warble in the car when I am on a long drive) both versions are safe from me.

The Pintester Movement – “Pigs in Mud”

  By Ren | May 28, 2013 - 4:00 PM | , , , , , ,
24 Comments

Ok… so I did the Pintesting thing.

For the uninitiated, “pintesting” is actually attempting one or more of the bajillions of things you’ve “pinned” on your Pinterest boards.

These are my Pinterest boards. As you can see, the craft and cookery ones are choccers full of stuff I would like to try.

Anyway, in the spirit of Sonja, “The Pintester‘s”, Pintester Movement*, I joined in by doing this cake which, like a lot of people who’ve seen the original picture all over the web, I’ve been obsessing over.

(*Link will work as of 30th May… or 1st June Aussie time.)

I mean… come on. It’s pigs. In mud. How hard could it be? I’ve always been pretty good at this food crafty stuff. I used to occasionally make marzipan figures for cakes many, many years ago – so maybe I had a little head-start with this one which may or may not be in the true spirit of pintesting, but ANYHOO…

The Night Before.

When I decided to do this, I posted up on my Facebook wall that I wanted to make a cake. Because I don’t really want to put back on too many of the 50kg (~100lb) that I’ve lost over the past couple of years, I also asked if there was anyone local who wanted said cake. Of course the response I received was expected. Naturally lots of people wanted cake. Fortunately I had a friend who’s daughter was turning six five on Tuesday (28th May) so it was perfect for her birthday and I felt a sense of good-deed-ism for inadvertently doing this for a special occasion.

Unfortunately this meant that I HAD to get the cake done well before the Pintester Movement deadline of May 30. EEEEEEEEP! I actually had to get it done to deliver the next day! I say again; EEEEEEEEEEEEEP!

So I ran (drove) to the shops and bought everything (most things) that I needed to make the cake.

So the whole process started by looking like this:

Renlish.com - Pigs in Mud Cake, Pintester Movement

Cream and chocolate in a bowl to make ganache.

And I’d already made my first mistake.

See, the recipe called for 300ml cream to 600gm chocolate.

Which stupid blonde made a 1:1 version involving 600ml cream and 600gm chocolate?

Oh yeah. Me.

So whilst I had ganache, it was very runny and I knew that even leaving it sit overnight, it would still be too runny to use on the cake.

So I sent the manbeast out to buy more chocolate. Which he did. And I ended up with a shit-ton of chocolate ganachey goodness as a result because I added another 600gm of chocolate to the bowl. That’s nearly 2kg (4.4lb) of ganache, people!!!!

Next on the agenda was preparing the fondant for making the pigs. I knew I wouldn’t have time for mixing it up the next day so I grabbed some food colouring and went to work massaging the stuff into lovely pinkness.

Insert an inappropriate comment filled with sexual innuendo here.

Renlish.com - Pigs in Mud Cake, Pintester Movement

Don’t judge me. It was 11pm and what would you do if you were faced with something that was pliable and pink?

Semi-Serious Tip: To get the perfect “piggy” pink, add some apricot colouring to the mix. It tones down the pink and makes it slightly more realistically fleshy coloured.

And then I went to bed.

(more…)

Flashing Kangaroos Pintesting… or should that be Pintesting Flashing Kangaroos?

  By Ren | May 26, 2013 - 11:03 PM | ,
1 Comment

ARGH.

Life takes over sometimes.

Not that I am doing anything super important.

I’ve got a whole heap of posts coming for the blog that I just need to write up.

In particular, a Pinterest experiment that I am in the process of putting together. (Started this evening.) Sonja from The Pintester has put together a call to action with The Pintester Movement. No, not that sort of movement, get your heads out of the toilet…

Unless you’re my friend Rae, who needs to put her head in the toilet when she drinks too much tequila as we discovered last night.

One tequila!
Two tequila!
Three tequila!
FLOOR!

AMIRITE, Rae?

Anyway, until that new post, which will be up in a day or two, here’s a picture of a kangaroo courtesy of the lovely place I stayed at in Beechworth.

Renlish.com - Flashing Kangaroo

This male kangaroo was making sure I wasn’t going to follow his group of girls… by flashing his (admittedly impressive) man-roo bits at me.

Also… Just a side note…

Paul Hollywood?

He’s my new crush. I just finished watching a season of Great British Bake-Off.

OMG THE SEXY. It’s too much.

If he looked at me the way he looked at pastry…

Renlish.com - Paul Hollywood

Oh, Paul. I’ll eat your buns any day of the week and twice on Sundays.

A Disquiet Mind

  By Ren | May 7, 2013 - 7:50 PM | ,
7 Comments

You want to know what’s really hard?

Taking first steps. But as I wrote on a Facebook status a while back…

“The first step is always the hardest, though I will admit that the second and third steps sting like a bitch too.”

It does.

Things have not been well in The House of Ren.

Without going into too much detail, I’ve sought out counseling to assist with some issues I have.

Ah, fuck it, let’s go into detail.

I’m seeing a shrink for the following reasons:

I’m angry. ALL. THE. TIME.

I’m sad. ALL. THE. TIME.

I love the world. ALL. THE. TIME.

I hate the world. ALL. THE. TIME.

I like myself. Well, occasionally.

I hate myself. ALL. THE. TIME.

Are we getting the gist yet? This has been me for several years and when I think about it, it’s been that way probably well before my husband was ever on the scene. The problem is that when any little bit of stress comes my way, all of the above escalates to new levels but then… it doesn’t really go back down again. Picture a thermometer if you will. The temperature has risen but the chemistry of the solution has somehow changed and while the temperature goes back down, it never really quite hits zero again.

It stays slightly warmer after each spike.

Being jobless has been the worst thing for me. I managed for the first five months and then I realised as I cleaned out one account of all the savings therein, I was in trouble. Big trouble. Not just for the money side of things but for the stress.

Literally, a volcano waiting to go off.

Well… I exploded – about ten times too many, much to the detriment of my marriage. My husband now sleeps in another room and I pretty much don’t sleep at all.

Oh, major plug for Bourjois Healthy Mix concealer (shade #52 if you please). It hides the circles masquerading as black eyes.

So I made the decision to see the doctor (that awful first step) then see the psychologist (second step – just as fucking painful).

I’d never been to see a psychologist before.

Yes, I’ve had my moments where I’ve called Lifeline to talk to someone (*anyone*) just to let this shit out but it’s a very different experience being in a room with a person you don’t know and telling them everything.

EVERYTHING.

Including why I immediately started laughing as soon as I walked into the office.

Because there IS an actual couch.

And there IS an actual armchair.

And my psychologist looks like a new-age hippy librarian in her patent red Mary Janes and purple stockings and pink cardigan and a top-knot of shaggy blonde hair.

I had to laugh. You would have too.

And yes, she uttered the words, “Tell me about your childhood” which also made me snicker. And then there were tears because my childhood was actually a bit crap.

All of it came out. All of it, all of it, all of it.

I paid $130 to sit on a blue couch and cry for an hour.

Anyway… All that said and done, it was interesting and I think beneficial. It was the first session so I am not really sure. I came out absolutely raw, in any case.

And I get to do it all again next week!

In the interim, I’ve taken up doodling. This weekend leading up to my appointment, I was freaking out a little bit. I needed something, anything, to focus on rather than my deteriorating mental state. So I grabbed my art pens and old sketch book from school and started to doodle.

I literally just went where my brain took me as I refused to think of anything but putting lines on paper. And pretty much suddenly the paper was all there was in the world and the only decision I needed to make was where to make the next line on the page. Just concentrating on putting all the energy I would otherwise be putting into emoting physically into the pen I was using.

Renlish.com - Doodletangle

When I finished and looked at it and thought that’s what my brain looks like right now. That’s a four-hour timelapse image of my mind. I know I will do more of these. I fancy having a series of “brain” pictures like this and then letting people guess what I was feeling as they look at each part of the picture.

If you’ve never tried it, give it a go. It’s cathartic and therapeutic in itself.

Are you happy?

  By Ren | April 28, 2013 - 10:19 PM |
2 Comments

“Are you happy?” is such a diificult question
I always say yes, because I have friends
I laugh at jokes, I go out a lot and have fun
my life isn’t as bad as it could be, and I don’t
have terrible problems. It could be worse

but then, one night at 3am when I’m alone
still awake, lying in bed, thinking about life
I find myself crying my heart out
suddenly I’m convinced nobody likes me, or
nobody will ever like me. I feel horrible
and I question everything I had

and I don’t know if I was ever happy at all.
– SF
(Whoever SF is.)

OHP: Healthy Noms

  By Ren | April 24, 2013 - 7:21 PM | ,
2 Comments

Seems that I am back in the game with my diet. I have taken the big step away from my beloved Weight Watchers and moved to MyFitnessPal (ask me nicely and I’ll give you my username). Calorie counting has always been a scary thing for me but given all the practice I’ve had with counting ProPoints, I figured it was worth a shot. It could be just what I need to get back on track and inches and kilograms closer to my goal.

With that in mind, I found and procured the biggest spaghetti squash I have EVER seen at my favourite grocers.

This baby cost $18. It is about 2.5kg of squashy goodness.

I have no idea how to cook it. Most of the recipes I’ve found tend to use the small ones and of course you boil/microwave/roast them pretty much whole. You can’t really do that with one that’s twice the size of a regular butternut pumpkin.

Anyway, while I try to figure that out, here’s my “Healthy Noms” theme for this week’s OHP.




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